Handy Caps
by Shannonigans
Summary: The truth behind Harry's excessive yelling in OotP.


**Handy Caps**

Harry James Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, was in a bit of a predicament.   He'd always thought that when he started his sixth year at Hogwarts he'd be at least able to share his experiences with his friends.  However, somehow over the last twelve months he'd managed to give everyone the impression that he was a bit…

…temperamental.

This was the source of much to confusion on Harry's behalf, as he had no idea what he'd done.  After much deliberation he came to a decision- he would ask someone what was wrong.

*

The next morning at breakfast Harry walked into the Great Hall and sat in his usual seat opposite Hermione.  He tried to draw her attention away from her Advanced Arithmancy textbook and toward him, oblivious to the fact that everyone around him had backed away to what they obviously judged a "safe distance".   Hermione finally looked up from her book when Harry waved his hand irritatingly in front of her eyes.

"What- oh.  Good morning?" she ventured warily, watching Harry nervously and folding her book closed with shaking hands.  Harry sighed.  This was just the thing he'd wanted to talk to her about.

"WHY IS EVERYONE AVOIDING ME?" he asked.  Hermione jerked, knocking over a jug of juice.  She gasped at the rapidly darkening and spreading stain, grabbed a stack of napkins and began to frantically mop up the mess.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Harry wanted to know.  Hermione let out a small squeak, dropped the now soaked napkins into a wad on the table and look Harry in the eye.  Her lower lip trembled slightly.

"I…I…I'm sorry," she stammered before bursting into tears and running from the room.  Harry watched her go, then wondered who he could ask next.

*

A few hours later Harry was no closer to solving his dilemma.  Ron had been to busy to talk to him, Neville had run away in the opposite direction when he saw Harry coming, Ginny couldn't be disentangled from Dean Thomas long enough to string two consecutive words together, and Harry was starting the think that Hagrid was avoiding him.  Harry squared his shoulders and decided to try someone else.

"LUNA?" Harry grabbed Luna's arm, pulled her away from a group of fifth year Ravenclaws and toward him.  "WHY DOESN'T ANYONE TALK TO ME ANYMORE?"

Luna looked thoughtfully up at Harry from under the colander that she was currently using as a hat.  "Perhaps you have Shnorkel-Hornflump Syndrome?" she suggested finally.  Harry thought this over, then decided that perhaps taking advice from someone who regularly used kitchenware as an item of clothing wasn't one of his better ideas.

"UM… THANKS LUNA.  YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT HELP."

Luna walked off looking rather satisfied, and Harry let out a deafening sigh of relief even though he was no better off than when he started.

*

Harry knew that things were getting desperate when he found himself waiting outside the Slytherin changing rooms for Draco Malfoy to emerge.  After an eternity Goyle stepped outside the door, causing a temporary solar eclipse.  Harry dove behind the nearby bushes and waited a little longer.  It seemed that Draco was gelling his hair.  

Harry was just about to give up when his prey ventured out.  "PSST… MALFOY!" Harry hissed in an ear-splitting roar.  Draco jumped a mile, spinning like a cat when he landed.  Harry stepped out from behind the bushes, and Draco visibly relaxed, though he did not put his wand back in his pocket.

"Oh.  It's just you Potter," he said inanely.  "What do you want?"  Harry stood up straighter, looking Draco straight in the eye.

"I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHY EVERYONE IS AVOIDING ME," Harry demanded.  Draco winced slightly.

"Geez Potter… try it a little louder next time, I don't think the people in _CHINA_ heard you," Draco muttered.

"WHAT?" Harry bellowed, confused.  Draco shook his head.

"You see?  That's exactly why.  You scream at anyone who has the misfortune of being in earshot!" yelled Draco.  "Git," he added as an afterthought.  Harry frowned, his face pensive.

"THANKS," he roared a few minutes later.  Draco rocked backwards and plugged his ears with his fingers.

"Can I go now?  Only I think my eardrums have burst…" he said, wandering off in the vague direction of the castle.  Harry stayed where he was standing, thinking things over.  It start to rain in earnest.

"STOP IT!" Harry screamed before storming up to the castle.

*

"Well Mr Potter, I think I've found the problem," Madam Pomfrey declared a few hours later.  Harry sat up in his bed in the infirmary and looked attentive.

"WHAT IS IT?" he yelled.  Madam Pomfrey adjusted her earplugs primly.

"It seems that sometime during the summer holidays before your fifth year you lost the ability to hear yourself.  Harry, it seems that you're going deaf."  Harry thought this over for a minute.

"WHAT?" he asked finally.

**Author's Note:**** This was just a stupid little idea that wouldn't leave me alone.  Hope you enjoyed it.**


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